finding faith in procrastination

Not really a fan of studying.

Ask anyone who knows me — and especially those who have lived with me.  I will do anything in my power to keep myself from studying and distract myself and others around me.  [which might be why I’m writing this blog right now, actually]

However, since my life-path lately has seemed to be designated as one of a professional student — studying is necessary.

Especially when learning a new language.

  • …which maybe is written from the opposite side of the page.
  • …maybe is thousands of years old and fairly recently revived.
  •  …maybe has vowels that were added in later to the text.
  • …and which perhaps is the language for which the foundation of millions of people’s faith rely upon.

Again, I say … studying is necessary.

My argument today is that studying, at least how I do it, is an act of faith in itself.  Sometimes I start early [this is a rare occurrence and usually only happens if I am procrastinating something that I dislike to a greater degree].  More often, I begin late.  Last minute.  I get nervous.  I gather my people around me.  There are at least 3 people who are not taking Hebrew this semester who are, in fact, learning Hebrew vicariously through me.  I soak in their help, their advice, their positive reinforcement….

and I practice.  I fumble.  I practice again.  I cry.  I laugh.  I practice more.

The true act of faith comes when the professor hands me the quiz.  There is no guarantee that all the studying I did the night before will grant me a high score on the quiz.  It requires faith.  Faith in my mental capacity.  Faith in memorization.  Faith that I actually copied the words correctly on my flashcards.  Faith that God is a merciful God who will help me when I don’t deserve it [and really, next time I’ll start earlier … I promise!].

And, more than that.

Faith that says even if I score poorly on this quiz, peace will be offered.  Second chances will come.  Opportunities will still knock.  I will still be here.  God will still be here.  Faith that says we will always journey together.

Where is faith important in your life?

About stepanana

just a girl writing about life through this lens.....
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