As a child … well, ok … and still some even now — I was scared of the dark. It wasn’t the kind of fear that I advertised to people, but I always knew there was a boogieman who was going to crawl out from under my bed or a monster to jump out of the closet. However, looking back on this fear now — I’m wondering if the dark was my true fear.
I think the true fear might have been silence. …and I might not have outgrown that one quite yet.
In the silence of the pitch dark, every noise was heightened and exaggerated. Every movement questioned. In the silence, I was forced to confront the unknown … and the unknown is horrifying.
Not much has changed in the ways of viewing silence as horrific in my life. When I’m home, the tv is on, or I’m on the phone, or I’m talking to my sister, or telling my dog to stop yapping. When I’m in the car, the radio is on or I’m on the phone. There is constant noise surrounding me.
When there is silence … I’m forced to confront the unknown. The unknown thoughts of the day, week, month, year that have been lurking in the back of my mind. The thoughts that might force me to think about life in a different way. The thoughts that might force me to put my emotions in check. The thoughts that might question the motivation behind certain actions.
Why am I so hesitant to confront the unknown? The unknown is not always horrific. It’s not even always unpleasant. Sometimes the unknown can be wonderful and surprisingly awesome. Perhaps I should be more willing to take this risk.
Are you afraid of silence? What does confronting the unknown mean for you?